Ok, now I TOTALLY understand why Deb felt crappy after she had a simple Costco sausage after she'd been going Vegan for awhile! Because I felt like that last night, and a bit this morning!
Yesterday was good intentions gone awry! On my way to the party, I got myself some sparkling water (still no pop for 2012! YAY!), tortilla chips, salsa & veggies. When I got there, I had a sample of most things: tiny weenies, chili/cream cheese dip, olives, chips & salsa, meatballs and taquitos. Oi. Where are the Tums? Just listing it makes my gut roll again!
I took a lot of Tums yesterday, didn't sleep well last night, and I'm doing "ok" this morning (day 36). I'm sipping on Ginger Tea, had toast for breakfast, and trying to remind my stomach what "normal" is supposed to be like!
What did I learn?
Oh my gosh, I don't want to ever feel like that again! That is truly a wake-up call for my lifestyle! Those foods are just NO GOOD for the body! YUCK! And honestly, they didn't even taste that great going down. Isn't that a bummer?
I'm also still in the stage of my journey where although I arm myself with good "tools" (ie the veggies, salsa), I'm still no stranger to succumbing to temptation. I truly hate that. I know I'm not strong enough, and I need to pray through it. Although if I were honest, I DIDN'T want to pray through it, I COULD have said "no" to those things, I know that. But with another lesson under my belt, I have yet another tool to help me in the future part of my journey.
Although I will say, I didn't have anything the rest of the night (how could I?), so I'm hoping those calories didn't put me over the edge too much. I'm not even going to try and track it!
Workout:
Treadmill: 41 min, 347 calories
Monday, February 6, 2012
Day 30 "results"
Ok, I have to really admit that this is where I give up...IN THE PAST, that is....
I'm looking at the pictures that I took last month vs. the pictures that I took this month, and frankly, I don't see any change. In fact, if I SCRUTENIZE myself (and who doesn't?) I actually see myself looking WORSE (in the face-forward shot)!
This is where the enemy tells me that all my aching muscles and good eating habits are for not. That no matter WHAT I do, or what my good intentions are, I won't accomplish this goal. And it's so VERY hard not to buy into it again.
However, I wish I could say that the "proof" was in the pictures. NOT YET. I know that cognitively, this should be my motivator - to work harder, try harder. REALLY? Exercise-wise, I'm truly giving it what I've got!
Ok, so I'm a numbers girl. I like them - I can't crunch them, calculate them, etc. So here they are:
Day 1 numbers are in black, Day 30 numbers are in PURPLE.
Difference +/- is in RED.
Today's numbers:
Weight (in lbs): 198.4 194.2 - 4.2
BMI: 34.1 OBESE 33.3 OBESE - 0.7
Body Fat %: 42 40.8 -1.2%
Measurements (in inches):
Neck: 13.5 13.75 +0.25
Bust: 41.5 (with sports bra on) 41.75 +.25
Waist: 38 36.5 - 1.5
Hips: 46 45.5 - 0.5
Left Arm: 14.5 14.0 - 0.5
Right Arm: 14.5 14.5 SAME
Left Thigh: 27 26.75 - 1.0
Right Thigh: 27.5 27 - 0.5
Left Calf: 16.5 16.75 +0.25
Right Calf: 17 17.0 SAME
Overall, I'm much more happy with the numbers than I was on Day 20 when I did a "sneak peak" at them. I'm truly glad to see my waist and hips go down (and that configures what I see in the side picture above). I'm disappointed that my chest measurements are going up and down. Some women really don't want to lose in the bust area I DO! (Don't ask my husband, he doesn't have to haul "the girls" around!)
And I'm not surprised to see my calf muscles stay the same/get bigger. I've always had big, strong, muscular calves. I don't like it; it's not very feminine. But they're mine, and I like that they're strong, and getting stronger. Not a lot of fat on those! My thighs are another story. They too are big and strong, but there's PLENTY that can be dropped from those!
I'm looking at the pictures that I took last month vs. the pictures that I took this month, and frankly, I don't see any change. In fact, if I SCRUTENIZE myself (and who doesn't?) I actually see myself looking WORSE (in the face-forward shot)!
This is where the enemy tells me that all my aching muscles and good eating habits are for not. That no matter WHAT I do, or what my good intentions are, I won't accomplish this goal. And it's so VERY hard not to buy into it again.
 |
| "Before" - Jan 2012 |
 |
| Day 30 - Feb. 2012 |
Ok...so on the "side shots," I do notice that I'm a bit trimmer. YES! I see SOMETHING that is an improvement!
 |
| "Before" side - Jan 2012 |
 |
| Day 30 side - Feb 2012 |
However, I wish I could say that the "proof" was in the pictures. NOT YET. I know that cognitively, this should be my motivator - to work harder, try harder. REALLY? Exercise-wise, I'm truly giving it what I've got!
Ok, so I'm a numbers girl. I like them - I can't crunch them, calculate them, etc. So here they are:
Day 1 numbers are in black, Day 30 numbers are in PURPLE.
Difference +/- is in RED.
Today's numbers:
Weight (in lbs): 198.4 194.2 - 4.2
BMI: 34.1 OBESE 33.3 OBESE - 0.7
Body Fat %: 42 40.8 -1.2%
Measurements (in inches):
Neck: 13.5 13.75 +0.25
Bust: 41.5 (with sports bra on) 41.75 +.25
Waist: 38 36.5 - 1.5
Hips: 46 45.5 - 0.5
Left Arm: 14.5 14.0 - 0.5
Right Arm: 14.5 14.5 SAME
Left Thigh: 27 26.75 - 1.0
Right Thigh: 27.5 27 - 0.5
Left Calf: 16.5 16.75 +0.25
Right Calf: 17 17.0 SAME
Overall, I'm much more happy with the numbers than I was on Day 20 when I did a "sneak peak" at them. I'm truly glad to see my waist and hips go down (and that configures what I see in the side picture above). I'm disappointed that my chest measurements are going up and down. Some women really don't want to lose in the bust area I DO! (Don't ask my husband, he doesn't have to haul "the girls" around!)
And I'm not surprised to see my calf muscles stay the same/get bigger. I've always had big, strong, muscular calves. I don't like it; it's not very feminine. But they're mine, and I like that they're strong, and getting stronger. Not a lot of fat on those! My thighs are another story. They too are big and strong, but there's PLENTY that can be dropped from those!
Sunday, February 5, 2012
Day 34 - day before Super Bowl Sunday...
Ok, first of all, I LOVE sports, espeically football. But one of the ways that we've really been able to hone our budget down is to cut out all the cable/satelite). (Oh my gosh, it's REALLY expensive!) Not only because we really didn't want the kids (or my hubby) glued to the TV all the time, but also for the expense. But let me say...I really DO miss my Sunday football games! :D
So being that tomorrow is Super Bowl, I've been invited to a variety of parties. We're going to one that's pretty family friendly, which is important to me. However, this is a family that is super-skinny, and I KNOW they don't work out - it's just in their genetics. But they eat like no tomorrow.
So my pre-plan for today is to get two workouts in, because I know I can't do it tomorrow, and to bring a healthy go-to snack to the party. I am NOT going to beat myself up for indulging a bit tomorrow. I will keep my water bottle with me, and keep my calorie counts down today and as much as I can before the party. How do you track all that nibbling??
...later...
I am tired.
I know that a lot of my tiredness is from the drama of the week, and possibly anticipating it to come again starting Monday. (The drama is USUALLY involving my step daughter. They visit Monday - Wednesday.) I know that the stress is killing my weight loss. I know ALL ABOUT how stress heightenes cortisol, and how that makes you not only wan to eat...which has been so-so...tired, weary, and trigger other things in the body.
But I can't get away from the stress. It - the stress, or should I say "she", the STRESSOR - is not only here Mon - Wed, but the calls from the ex (about my step daughter) and the drama still lasts the rest of the week whether or not she is here. Yes, it's WORSE when she is actually HERE. But it resonnates through the rest of our week, and our lives. Although she is not my child, I do care for her. I choose to love her, and therefore, I hate to see her go through this misery that she (frankly) creates for herself.
The bottom line: she "hates" me. SURPRISE! Wicked stepmother senario! However, even her own mother ("the ex") admits to all that it's nothing I've said, done, etc. This drama and anger is all out her own selfishness.
Actually, she doesn't understand that a lot of the changes that her dad's household has gone through is not only because I'm here, but there are many other changes that have gone on as well - she went from homeschooling to public school. Her mom moved her to Boise and then back again within 2 months, and now they're back, and mom is due any time now with a new sibling with an ex boyfriend (my fault???? I THINK NOT!). And top it all off, she IS 13 - a teenager with raging hormones. But, I am the oh-so-easy target.
On my "fault," I am the "new woman" who (in her eyes) has taken her spot (she's the family-proclaimed "daddy's girl"). Not only did I show up on scene, but I brought my daughter, who is younger. But we live with her dad 24/7, she does not. That's what I "did wrong." Sorry, not going to change! The other 3 kids (my 2, and his other son) have all taken the good with the "bad" and adapted to the sitation at hand, and the relationships that are forming. Period.
So what can I do to help combat the stress? I've been drinking chamomile tea at night for soothing & relaxation, and trying to get as much sleep as possible. I probably need to incorporate some Yoga,but that takes time away from my husband (which is precious little) and my family. I need help/suggestions!
Workouts:
Turbo Jam Cardio Mix 1 - 38 min, 342 Calories
Lifting free weights - 24 min, 113 calories
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550 calories
Calories consumed: 1297 (YES!)
So being that tomorrow is Super Bowl, I've been invited to a variety of parties. We're going to one that's pretty family friendly, which is important to me. However, this is a family that is super-skinny, and I KNOW they don't work out - it's just in their genetics. But they eat like no tomorrow.
So my pre-plan for today is to get two workouts in, because I know I can't do it tomorrow, and to bring a healthy go-to snack to the party. I am NOT going to beat myself up for indulging a bit tomorrow. I will keep my water bottle with me, and keep my calorie counts down today and as much as I can before the party. How do you track all that nibbling??
...later...
I am tired.
I know that a lot of my tiredness is from the drama of the week, and possibly anticipating it to come again starting Monday. (The drama is USUALLY involving my step daughter. They visit Monday - Wednesday.) I know that the stress is killing my weight loss. I know ALL ABOUT how stress heightenes cortisol, and how that makes you not only wan to eat...which has been so-so...tired, weary, and trigger other things in the body.
But I can't get away from the stress. It - the stress, or should I say "she", the STRESSOR - is not only here Mon - Wed, but the calls from the ex (about my step daughter) and the drama still lasts the rest of the week whether or not she is here. Yes, it's WORSE when she is actually HERE. But it resonnates through the rest of our week, and our lives. Although she is not my child, I do care for her. I choose to love her, and therefore, I hate to see her go through this misery that she (frankly) creates for herself.
The bottom line: she "hates" me. SURPRISE! Wicked stepmother senario! However, even her own mother ("the ex") admits to all that it's nothing I've said, done, etc. This drama and anger is all out her own selfishness.
Actually, she doesn't understand that a lot of the changes that her dad's household has gone through is not only because I'm here, but there are many other changes that have gone on as well - she went from homeschooling to public school. Her mom moved her to Boise and then back again within 2 months, and now they're back, and mom is due any time now with a new sibling with an ex boyfriend (my fault???? I THINK NOT!). And top it all off, she IS 13 - a teenager with raging hormones. But, I am the oh-so-easy target.
On my "fault," I am the "new woman" who (in her eyes) has taken her spot (she's the family-proclaimed "daddy's girl"). Not only did I show up on scene, but I brought my daughter, who is younger. But we live with her dad 24/7, she does not. That's what I "did wrong." Sorry, not going to change! The other 3 kids (my 2, and his other son) have all taken the good with the "bad" and adapted to the sitation at hand, and the relationships that are forming. Period.
So what can I do to help combat the stress? I've been drinking chamomile tea at night for soothing & relaxation, and trying to get as much sleep as possible. I probably need to incorporate some Yoga,but that takes time away from my husband (which is precious little) and my family. I need help/suggestions!
Workouts:
Turbo Jam Cardio Mix 1 - 38 min, 342 Calories
Lifting free weights - 24 min, 113 calories
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550 calories
Calories consumed: 1297 (YES!)
Saturday, February 4, 2012
Day 33
Today I'm still dealing with a lot of the stress from last night's step-daughter drama. (Long story.) But I'm finding that exercise is a really great outlet. So although I have already been on the treadmill ONCE today (this morning), I'm bound and determined to get on it AGAIN this afternoon.
Workouts:
Treadmill (AM): 50 min, 435 calories
Treadmill (PM): 43 min, 390 calories (mostly walking)
Today I had to run to the store to go get eggs for cooking for my kids, and so I was running through Albertsons, and the "food demons" were calling my name: down the bakery section, the chips aisle, etc., etc. I got out of there with one portion of "healthy" chips (like Pirates Booty) and a latte from Starbucks that I've been sipping on ALL DAY. Unfortunately, it may put me over on my calorie count, but I AM getting an extra work out, and I'm not much of a coffee drinker, so I may not finish it all anyway.
...later...
I was just finishing up on the treadmill, earbuds still in my ears, sweat dripping down me, and stretching, when I turned around and saw my husband standing here ("admiring the view" as he said) and scared the living crap right out of me! Despite the nasty sweatyness, the bad workout BO, and everything, I got a wonderful kiss! Despite how awkward I felt because of how I look in my workout clothes with my hair pulled back, no make up, etc., etc., it was GREAT to realize that he's noticing SOMETHING! :-D
Especially with all the drama at home (with his daughter), I really needed the assurance that I wasn't just the glorified cook/maid/laudry maiden in the house. I got it!
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories Consumed: 1490
Workouts:
Treadmill (AM): 50 min, 435 calories
Treadmill (PM): 43 min, 390 calories (mostly walking)
Today I had to run to the store to go get eggs for cooking for my kids, and so I was running through Albertsons, and the "food demons" were calling my name: down the bakery section, the chips aisle, etc., etc. I got out of there with one portion of "healthy" chips (like Pirates Booty) and a latte from Starbucks that I've been sipping on ALL DAY. Unfortunately, it may put me over on my calorie count, but I AM getting an extra work out, and I'm not much of a coffee drinker, so I may not finish it all anyway.
...later...
I was just finishing up on the treadmill, earbuds still in my ears, sweat dripping down me, and stretching, when I turned around and saw my husband standing here ("admiring the view" as he said) and scared the living crap right out of me! Despite the nasty sweatyness, the bad workout BO, and everything, I got a wonderful kiss! Despite how awkward I felt because of how I look in my workout clothes with my hair pulled back, no make up, etc., etc., it was GREAT to realize that he's noticing SOMETHING! :-D
Especially with all the drama at home (with his daughter), I really needed the assurance that I wasn't just the glorified cook/maid/laudry maiden in the house. I got it!
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories Consumed: 1490
Friday, February 3, 2012
Day 32
...Morning...
Well, I know I need to get my 30 day stats and pics up here. I will probably do that this afternoon. This morning already hasn't gotten off to a great start - I DID set my alarm, and I'm sure it went off (it's on my phone), but I think the volume was too low....didn't hear it. So I woke up a few minutes shy of 6:00 (my "sleep in" time) and let's just say I'm grateful that I'm not officially "LATE!" But of course, no workout this morning. **grrr**
So, lesson that I learned from yesterday was to be intentional with my eating, therefore to not go over. I'm organized: type-A person, leader, teacher, mother/step mom of 4, so I have to be organized out of necessity! But I'm not SO organized that I pre-plan my eating. I wish I could, but it's frankly leftovers for lunch (not today! last night's dinner was TOO caloric!) or whatever is in the fridge. Today's lesson is having a PLAN B!
Too many times (especially lately), I've not been able to get in my morning workout. Typically it's an alarm thing, but I can't let this continue! So my plan B is usually walk at recess, and even plan C HAS to be to at least walk on the treadmill after work. I don't like doing this because I want to spend time with my hubby. At least today I have almost an hour buffer of time when I get home vs. the time that he gets home from work.
...later...
Well, I'm glad I walked at school. It wasn't for more than 35 min, but I had to stay after school, and then drama hit at home, so no work out at home. :(
Workouts:
Walking at school (with lunges)! 35 min, 240 cals (not a lot, but better than nothing!)
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Consumed: 1148
I don't know whether to be happy or upset about that lack of calories. It will certainly help me wiht the days I over consumed, but I basically didn't have snack or dinner because of the family drama. Kills my stomach each time something new comes up.
Well, I know I need to get my 30 day stats and pics up here. I will probably do that this afternoon. This morning already hasn't gotten off to a great start - I DID set my alarm, and I'm sure it went off (it's on my phone), but I think the volume was too low....didn't hear it. So I woke up a few minutes shy of 6:00 (my "sleep in" time) and let's just say I'm grateful that I'm not officially "LATE!" But of course, no workout this morning. **grrr**
So, lesson that I learned from yesterday was to be intentional with my eating, therefore to not go over. I'm organized: type-A person, leader, teacher, mother/step mom of 4, so I have to be organized out of necessity! But I'm not SO organized that I pre-plan my eating. I wish I could, but it's frankly leftovers for lunch (not today! last night's dinner was TOO caloric!) or whatever is in the fridge. Today's lesson is having a PLAN B!
Too many times (especially lately), I've not been able to get in my morning workout. Typically it's an alarm thing, but I can't let this continue! So my plan B is usually walk at recess, and even plan C HAS to be to at least walk on the treadmill after work. I don't like doing this because I want to spend time with my hubby. At least today I have almost an hour buffer of time when I get home vs. the time that he gets home from work.
...later...
Well, I'm glad I walked at school. It wasn't for more than 35 min, but I had to stay after school, and then drama hit at home, so no work out at home. :(
Workouts:
Walking at school (with lunges)! 35 min, 240 cals (not a lot, but better than nothing!)
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Consumed: 1148
I don't know whether to be happy or upset about that lack of calories. It will certainly help me wiht the days I over consumed, but I basically didn't have snack or dinner because of the family drama. Kills my stomach each time something new comes up.
Thursday, February 2, 2012
Day 31
Wow, talk about if you're not intentional, what can happen!
Because of the crappy week I've been having with work drama (add a little home drama in there too to round it out...), my hubby wanted to take me to lunch at a Thai place that has Sushi. He knows that I love Sushi, and I usually don't get to have it a lot because he doesn't like the Nori (seaweed wrap) and the kids are hit-and-miss. WOW - "spent" quite a few calories there! And we had already planned to have breakfast dinner, but he wanted to make bfast burritos with the Spanish rice my son had left over from Spanish class (they had a fiesta)...and oh my.... high in protein, but high in calories as well! OUCH!
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Consumed: 1,719
AND THAT'S WITH NO SNACKS!
That just goes to show that I truly have to keep a game-plan in mind. I know there are people who have posted "I have eaten ALL DAY LONG and I still need to eat 1,000 more calories!!!" (Ok, slight exaggeration on the number...) And I've had a day or two of that. But not usually. I think it's because I don't eat a lot of veggies. WHY? It's not that I'm veggie-phobic. I like them. I don't prefer them! (True confession) I love fruit, and I have no problem having fruit for "dessert" or any other time. So I think I just really need to hit more veggies. Not just for snacks, but overall. I was doing pretty good with my "one salad a day" goal for awhile, but I just pittered out on it - got bored. And my last excuse (and yes, I know it's just an "excuse") is that produce is expensive (overall), but especially since they're not in season. And I COMPLETELY prefer fresh to canned, and frozen is ok.
Workouts:
It was raining here all day, so I didn't get any extra recess walks (which I was actually looking forward to)!
Not a "stellar" workout by any means. Frankly, didn't want to do it, so I walked most of the time. :-(
Treadmill with BL: 40 min, 340 calories
Because of the crappy week I've been having with work drama (add a little home drama in there too to round it out...), my hubby wanted to take me to lunch at a Thai place that has Sushi. He knows that I love Sushi, and I usually don't get to have it a lot because he doesn't like the Nori (seaweed wrap) and the kids are hit-and-miss. WOW - "spent" quite a few calories there! And we had already planned to have breakfast dinner, but he wanted to make bfast burritos with the Spanish rice my son had left over from Spanish class (they had a fiesta)...and oh my.... high in protein, but high in calories as well! OUCH!
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Consumed: 1,719
AND THAT'S WITH NO SNACKS!
That just goes to show that I truly have to keep a game-plan in mind. I know there are people who have posted "I have eaten ALL DAY LONG and I still need to eat 1,000 more calories!!!" (Ok, slight exaggeration on the number...) And I've had a day or two of that. But not usually. I think it's because I don't eat a lot of veggies. WHY? It's not that I'm veggie-phobic. I like them. I don't prefer them! (True confession) I love fruit, and I have no problem having fruit for "dessert" or any other time. So I think I just really need to hit more veggies. Not just for snacks, but overall. I was doing pretty good with my "one salad a day" goal for awhile, but I just pittered out on it - got bored. And my last excuse (and yes, I know it's just an "excuse") is that produce is expensive (overall), but especially since they're not in season. And I COMPLETELY prefer fresh to canned, and frozen is ok.
Workouts:
It was raining here all day, so I didn't get any extra recess walks (which I was actually looking forward to)!
Not a "stellar" workout by any means. Frankly, didn't want to do it, so I walked most of the time. :-(
Treadmill with BL: 40 min, 340 calories
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
Day 30
The drama continues... But so does life.
No workouts except a walk at recess. Really didn't get my HR up like I wanted it too. :-( Pretty disappointed. However, my calories were in range. YAY!
"Workouts:"
Walk at recess: 14 min, only 54 calories. At least I was moving and not behind a desk!
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200-1,550
Consumed: 1,505
No workouts except a walk at recess. Really didn't get my HR up like I wanted it too. :-( Pretty disappointed. However, my calories were in range. YAY!
"Workouts:"
Walk at recess: 14 min, only 54 calories. At least I was moving and not behind a desk!
Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200-1,550
Consumed: 1,505
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