Day 81

WEIGH IN UPDATE: 187.8!!!
Over the past 3 months, I've lost 10 lbs! YAY! :)

Workout:
Treadmill, 44 min, 420 calories

Yay! Got a workout in today, and I know that I'll get one in tomorrow, but most likely not Saturday. Tomorrow I'm off of school (conferences), and we're heading to Tri-Cities for the weekend.  We're going to see Tim Hawkins (a comedian) and since it's a (most of the) family trip, I'm not so sure that I will be working out like I usually do on the weekends.  In fact, this is the first time (in a LONG time) that my husband has taken the weekend off, and since I've started job #2, I don't get "weekends" off anymore.  So I'm pretty pumped!

So....if I seem a little "quiet" for the next two days, just know that I'm livin' life! :)  Still trying to work off calories (yes, the hotel has a gym and a pool!) and I'll try to track, but my iPod touch is acting up, and I'm not so sure that I'll be able to track away from a computer.  (Technology is good, but when it doesn't work, it truly leaves people up in arms!)  But I'm vowing to make good choices.  My husband is all pumped up about the eating-out choices that we'll have in the TC that we don't have here at home.  And that's good - I can LIVE! But that doesn't mean I need to over do it either.  Just a BITE or a SAMPLE is good for me.

Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: 1078

I hadn't purposely tried to go under calories for today.  We were just having a hard time fitting in dinner.  I sent my kids to the fridge for leftovers (so they wouldn't be in the house while we're gone), and hubby was doing some work on my car.  I was getting some stuff done after working job #1 AND job #2, and the next thing we knew, we looked at the clock and OH CRAP! It's 7:30!  (Hubby has to be in bed by 8 on nights that he has to wake up at 3 the next morning.)  He didn't want food settling on his stomach while sleeping, and I know I NEEDED to eat, but since my cold is trying to come back (my fault; didn't finish the antibiodic), I just grabbed a glass of milk with my meds and went on with the evening!  Oh well! 

Day 80

As I just wrapped up my Day 79 blog, I reported that I couldn't track yesterday's food because my beloved SparkPeople.com is down (for some reason??)!!!! Oh no!  So I'm hoping it's up later today so that I can track today's food.

I didn't sleep well today, so I didn't get up an exercise.  Although, looking back, I should have just got up anyway - I only tossed and turned that last hour.  But sleep is something very important to me!  And not just because I like it! (lol)  But in someways, I am an insomniac...  I have a hard time getting to sleep and STAYING asleep.  Yes, I do all the right things: regular exercise, stay away from caffiene, no screens/bright lights before bed, etc.  But if I have a lot on my mind...forget it.  I'm almost doomed.  And yes, I take an OTC sleeping pill.  I've tried it all: melatonin, valerian, etc.  But nothing works on a regular basis.

...anyway...

SIGH - my husband is so sweet, and can read me like a book!  I've been under a lot of stress lately, and I was a sentimental goof and tried to mark the 1 year anniversary of our engagement.  (It ended up being not a very good "anniversary" - we had some mixed signals, etc. Long story.)  So today he came to work with a dozen roses.  I joked with him about "what did you do?" and he was just very solomn and said he just wanted to let me know he loves me.  (Which really was sweet because on said-anniversary he remembered to have me run by the store for a rose for the Princess since she had a choir concert that night...but no flower for the wife....ouch.  Way to make up for that, honey!)  And yes, he did it all on his own without any hinting!  Also, he made me THREE sushi rolls!  (He's getting QUITE good at this!  All three rolls were different, but the one he presented to me tonight had tuna, shrimp, crab meat, avocado, cucumber, wasabi and a bit of cream cheese.  (With nori and rice too, of course.)  I can't bare to tell him that although I love sushi, I like it once in a blue moon!  Now I have 2 sushi rolls to eat before we leave out of town on Saturday morning! Oi!  But he did it out of love, and I truly appreciate that from him. 

On a side note, he made steak and mashed potatoes (from a box - blech!) for everyone else.  I will say, I was kinda jealous about the steak!  But I got a sample-bite to appease my curiosity! :) lol

Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: ??? Didn't get everything in!

Day 79

Workout:
Treadmill - 33 min., 318 calories


Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: ???

Well, conferences are KILLING me!  I'm not used to having them this early, and so prepping for them has been brutal.  I don't have a FULL classroom, but nonetheless, having 2 jobs, children in sports, and life is just a bit overwhelming.

Anyway, I went to input my food intake for yesterday, and my beloved Sparkpeople.com is down!  I don't know what's going on, but I tried to log in this morning to track for yesterday If you haven't noticed, the reason why my blog gets posted in the morning is because I actually update it before I go to work for the day before.   I try to write as if it were THAT day (*snicker*), but right now it's TECHNICALLY Day 80 in the early AM and I am trying to input everything for Day 79.

Anyhow....  So I can't give an account by calories, but I know I did well.  Here's a brief overview of my food intake yesterday:

Pre-workout: E2, metamucil (daily, typical stuff)
Breakfast: Shakeology with Almond milk
AM Snack: Wheat thins with light cream cheese
Lunch: Thai House with hubby.  4 coconut prawns, 1/4 c of thai noodles and 1/2 cup of cashew chicken.  (So proud of myself for not gorging!)
PM Snack: Apple
Dinner: Shakeology with almond milk (again)

I was NOT planning to have 2 shakeology meals yesterday, but it was the Princess' turn to cook dinner, and one of her FAVORITE meals is biscuits with gravy. 

Ok folks, this is not just ANY biscuits and gravy, but she makes it with bacon grease (yes, that she stores in the fridge....WAY in the back so I don't have to see it!) and a ton of salt, flour, and butter.  I just could NOT do it.  Yes, I was hungry, and yes I probably should have had a bite or two, but there was just no way I could do it.  Part of it is that I (frankly) do not like biscuits and gravy.  And frankly, if I don't like it AND it's not good for me, WHY EAT IT?!?!?  (And p.s. The Princess wasn't offended - she just said "more for me!" and had a total of 3 helpings. Yep, that's a child covering her feelings in food, that's for sure!)

...personal note...

Ok...if you've read any of my other blog posts about "the princess" you already know that there's a lack of fuzzy feelings between me and my step daughter.  That's no secret.  However, as I told my husband yesterday at lunch, this really DOES bother me. 

Why?

Because God has so richly allowed me to use my "life mistakes" to help others.  I was an unwed mother at 20.  I married for the wrong reasons the first time....and all these things I've been able to turn around and help counsel other youth because of it.  I've BEEN THERE!  I HAVE THE T-SHIRT!  (And no, you don't want to borrow it!)  But with my SD, I see so much of myself as a teenager in her.  The hurt (for different reasons), the rebellion, the pushing those away who love you (and want to help you), and lastly: turning to food for comfort.

Food is "always there."  It was always there for me when times were tough, and it NEVER disappointed me!  Cheesecake still always tasted great!  Burgers were always yummy....until the guilt set in. 

I want to so badly help her.  But since she despises me the most, I can't find a way to get through to her, and that truly does hurt my heart.

I want to show her how to take her favorites (like biscuits and gravy) and turn it into a small SIDE DISH and make it healthier, and add wonderful, fiberous fruit along with it!  (Still allowing it to be "breakfast dinner.")  That way she can have a TASTE, but not gorge on it. 

I pray that someday I can actually be a mentor instead of an enemy.

Day 78

Ok...didn't do so hot tracking yesterday.  Started out well (with good intentions), but didn't get much past AM snack.  NUTS!  So today, I VOW to do better.  I've just packed my lunch for work today and I'm already going to put it into my tracker. YES - success already!  Now I just have to make sure that's what I actually eat...right???

This week is going to be a stressful week.  First of all on the #1 job front - it's conferences.  And because of job #2, that makes it very complicated as to when I can meet with parents (as in only Mon-Wed afternoons).  That could either be a good thing, or a bad thing.  We don't know the current visiting status of the Princess for this week.  There was a HUGE blow up last week, and dad (aka hubby) sent her off packing to her mom's house because of her crappy attitude.  To our GREAT surprise, there has been no communication about what to expect this week.... should be interesting....

...later...

Well, the Princess arrived on scene, and I will delightfully say it's been "normal."  Still annoying, but "normal."  I think she's minding her p's and q's because she knows dad will send her packing again.

I will say, though, that through conferences and all, I've been slacking.  Life is "getting in the way."  I didn't track today, and Monday has typically been my "off" workout day. 

Tomorrow's a new day...

Day 77 - Day of rest? Not for this girl!

I don't know why I'm on the computer right now, I have such a long "to do" list, it's not even funny!  You know you have a problem when you wake up at 5am (on a SUNDAY!) and think... "man, I wonder if I can get my Wal-Mart shopping done before the kids get up."  REALLY?!?!  That, my friends, is a problem....

WHY do I have such a problem?  Well, it's called "SECOND JOB" syndrome.  It means that although you're getting paid for doing services at another business, the job that you DON'T get paid for (ie job of "mom" and job of "wife") suffer.  That's not my intent.  In fact, I wasn't really looking for a lot of hours from this second job...I was just trying to get a jump start on getting a SUMMER JOB.  (We live in a town HIGHLY populated by college kids - we live near LCSC, and close to Moscow, ID and Pullman, WA.)  So I was thinking that looking for a summer job in the SPRING was a good idea....until I got OVERLY blessed with lots of hours.

So now, my "day of rest" (which, frankly, never really was a day of rest), is now even less rest-full.

...later...

So....I started out really good with tracking...and then the speed of light happened!  (As in...I was doing so much all at once, I felt like I was moving at the speed of light....does that count for a workout?!?!?) lol...  So I don't have my tracking stats.  But I did get a run in.

Workout:
3.26 miles, 460 calories

Day 76 - First 5k in a LONG time...

Oh good...Lewis and Clark pointing the way! Whew!

St. Patrick's Day 5k Race - Lewiston, Idaho

I was pretty nervous going into this 5k.  It wasn't the distance - I've been doing 5 mile loops lately, and I've done two 1/2 marathons!   But it's been awhile since I've "raced."  I don't know this area very well at all - I've lived here less than a year, and so I'm really glad I went to the race location early (a bit TOO early), but it took me 10 min. to find.  Glad I took a book and just listened to music while I read...helped calm my nerves!

I don't race anyone except myself - my goal for each race is to PR (Personal Record) for that distance, feel good after the race and feel good about what I did.

I can say that I accomplished all 3 goals yesterday.

Pinning on my number in a new spot.
I hate it when the bibs have to be pinned to my gut - so annoying!
Let's just attract MORE attention to my gut-roll, ok?!?!?

First goal: PR  35:20

My previous PR is really slow.  I don't remember the seconds, but I know it was 38 minutes.  That's because I've actually done very few 5k's.  Once I got the 3.1 mile distance "down," I moved on to 10ks, and 1/2 marathons.  So I wanted to do the 5k this time (there was an option for 10k as well) for a couple of reasons: 1 - because I was just getting back into it after a year and a half, and speed is NOT my thing; I need to improve in that area.

Second goal: Feel good AFTER the race

Did I push it TOO hard?  Did I not push ENOUGH?  Did I "jog smart" and not pull anything?  I think it went well, and I ended strong - sprinted to the finish.

Final goal: reflection....could I have done anything differently?

The only "regrets" I had were 2:  #1 - I should have hit the bathroom ONE LAST TIME! (I'm ALWAYS going to the bathroom!) And not because I "really had to go" or that there weren't bathrooms along the way, but it was on my mind a LOT.  And being stubborn (for that PR) I did NOT want to go along the race!  I didn't even go AFTER the race until I got home!  Sheesh!  But it was on my mind.

#2 - I set my Garmin watch up at the starting point, but for whatever reason, I hit the wrong button and didn't realize it until the end of mile 1.  So I had to do some math to figure out what my first mile stats were.  (Not really a big deal - the race was chipped.)

All done! Sweaty, red-faced, but feeling good! :-)

Workout - St. Patrick's Day 5k

3.1 miles, 35:20, 410 calories



#60 overall (not bad for a slo-mo!)
35:20 "official" time




I take this type of picture every race:
My bib number, the t-shirt and the shoes I ran in.
Someday I'll scrapbook them all...maybe....





close up of the bib - I always write my time on it.



Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Consumed: 1,427

Day 75 - back in the saddle...AGAIN?

One thing that I have learned, is that every time you fall, you MUST get back up again.  We learned that as babies trying to walk, kids trying to ride a bike, and even as adults looking for a job. 

However, through the course of learning to walk, ride a bike and job hunting, usually the success of learning is the "end" of the journey!  Well, I've learned that there is no "END" to this journey.  Oh sure, you might attain your goal weight, but from what I understand, maintaining it is harder than getting there in the first place!  And actually, I understand that because right now I'm not pushing myself with exercise, and PMS is making eating choices harder than ever, and I'm HIGHLY sure that I have not maintained my piddly 7 lb loss.  It's a constant struggle.

Is it worth it?

I think so.  I think learning resilience, how to be healthier and modling that for my children is important.  I also learn that I am NOT perfect.

Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: 1,599  Oh man, JUST over!

I think the PB/Banana sandwich for morning snack put me over!  (Next time I need only a 1/2, not a whole.)  My first 2 days of my perioid are ones that I am HUNGRY all the time!  So I try to make sure I'm hydrated - that it's not a need for water, not food - and know that my body probably needs a few extra calories.

**************************************

Tomorrow is my 5k race, and I'm really nervous.  It's not the mileage; 3.1 miles isn't much for me anymore (although that wasn't always true)!  I'm nervous because I'm getting BACK into racing, and although I truly only race against MYSELF, it's getting "back on the bike" again.  Of course during a race, you always want to PR (Personal Record), and that's no different.  But let's face it - it's been almost a week since I've exercised, I DO feel better (sinus infection), but the weather is crappy, etc.  And frankly, I don't know the area, and there's no race map.  What if I get lost?!?!? lol  I have to admit, that would be a bit funny....

I just want it to go WELL.  Yes, I want to PR.  I don't want to get sicker (because of the rainy weather), and I want to feel good about myself afterwards.  Is that too much to ask?!?! :-)