Day 79

Workout:
Treadmill - 33 min., 318 calories


Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: ???

Well, conferences are KILLING me!  I'm not used to having them this early, and so prepping for them has been brutal.  I don't have a FULL classroom, but nonetheless, having 2 jobs, children in sports, and life is just a bit overwhelming.

Anyway, I went to input my food intake for yesterday, and my beloved Sparkpeople.com is down!  I don't know what's going on, but I tried to log in this morning to track for yesterday If you haven't noticed, the reason why my blog gets posted in the morning is because I actually update it before I go to work for the day before.   I try to write as if it were THAT day (*snicker*), but right now it's TECHNICALLY Day 80 in the early AM and I am trying to input everything for Day 79.

Anyhow....  So I can't give an account by calories, but I know I did well.  Here's a brief overview of my food intake yesterday:

Pre-workout: E2, metamucil (daily, typical stuff)
Breakfast: Shakeology with Almond milk
AM Snack: Wheat thins with light cream cheese
Lunch: Thai House with hubby.  4 coconut prawns, 1/4 c of thai noodles and 1/2 cup of cashew chicken.  (So proud of myself for not gorging!)
PM Snack: Apple
Dinner: Shakeology with almond milk (again)

I was NOT planning to have 2 shakeology meals yesterday, but it was the Princess' turn to cook dinner, and one of her FAVORITE meals is biscuits with gravy. 

Ok folks, this is not just ANY biscuits and gravy, but she makes it with bacon grease (yes, that she stores in the fridge....WAY in the back so I don't have to see it!) and a ton of salt, flour, and butter.  I just could NOT do it.  Yes, I was hungry, and yes I probably should have had a bite or two, but there was just no way I could do it.  Part of it is that I (frankly) do not like biscuits and gravy.  And frankly, if I don't like it AND it's not good for me, WHY EAT IT?!?!?  (And p.s. The Princess wasn't offended - she just said "more for me!" and had a total of 3 helpings. Yep, that's a child covering her feelings in food, that's for sure!)

...personal note...

Ok...if you've read any of my other blog posts about "the princess" you already know that there's a lack of fuzzy feelings between me and my step daughter.  That's no secret.  However, as I told my husband yesterday at lunch, this really DOES bother me. 

Why?

Because God has so richly allowed me to use my "life mistakes" to help others.  I was an unwed mother at 20.  I married for the wrong reasons the first time....and all these things I've been able to turn around and help counsel other youth because of it.  I've BEEN THERE!  I HAVE THE T-SHIRT!  (And no, you don't want to borrow it!)  But with my SD, I see so much of myself as a teenager in her.  The hurt (for different reasons), the rebellion, the pushing those away who love you (and want to help you), and lastly: turning to food for comfort.

Food is "always there."  It was always there for me when times were tough, and it NEVER disappointed me!  Cheesecake still always tasted great!  Burgers were always yummy....until the guilt set in. 

I want to so badly help her.  But since she despises me the most, I can't find a way to get through to her, and that truly does hurt my heart.

I want to show her how to take her favorites (like biscuits and gravy) and turn it into a small SIDE DISH and make it healthier, and add wonderful, fiberous fruit along with it!  (Still allowing it to be "breakfast dinner.")  That way she can have a TASTE, but not gorge on it. 

I pray that someday I can actually be a mentor instead of an enemy.