I'm frustrated with my current life situation, and something needs to change.
Right now I'm juggling 3 jobs which I promised myself I would never do again once I became a teacher, I'm barely being a mom and slightly more of a wife than a mom. I'm never home, and even when I am HOME, I'm not "here." I'm either on the computer doing work, or my mind is on work. WHY? Why did I volunteer for this?
JOB #1 - Teacher: This position is a private school job. I get paid about 1/3 of what I got as a public school teacher, which leads me to feel GUILTY that I'm not financially pulling my weight. Also, this job ends June 8th (with the school year), as does my pay. (Public school teachers have their salary stretched across all 12 months, mine does not.)
JOB #2 - Retail clerk at the local bible bookstore - Ok, I have to admit, I LOVE this job! NOTHING to take home - when I clock out, I am DONE! The pay is slightly above minimum wage, and I love working with people. The hours currently are ok - I work when hubby is at work except a couple hours on Thurs. pm he beats me home (which he's not happy about). But I got this job in preparation for summer when I needed a job. Any hours I was getting right now was supposed to be padding our savings account for the summer, but a recent oversight in our checking account just whiped out the couple of hundred I had (so-far) saved up. Crap.
JOB #3 - Daycare Manager - Our private school was conjoined to a daycare, both owned by my boss (principal). She was selling the daycare (too much stress), and the new owner hired me for 5 hrs a wk to do the schedule, menus and just check in since I was teaching on sight. The "new owner" bowed out of the deal this past week, and now my boss-boss wants to keep me on...but I'm doing so much MORE than just 5 hours. And this was also to be worked into the summer. The stress is already killing me: will she keep the daycare, or close the doors? What about the summer program? Staffing concerns? etc., etc. I honestly want OUT of this job: I don't get paid enough for the stress of managing. But I need the income...
Why is all of this included in my HEALTH blog? Because STRESS is a #1 killer among women. All of us type-A, kick-ass and take name later women are killing ourselves. Not only do I not have time for my family (my #1 priority), but I don't have time for myself, to eat healthy or workout.
NOT COOL. NOT ACCEPTABLE.
I need a change.
First, I have to remember to rely on my Lord, Jesus Christ to bring me through this: lean on Him. He will give me His PEACE, and HE will provide. I need to pray about what direction He wants me to go in. I don't believe it's His will to have me be so stressed out and stretched from one end to another, and ignore the basic needs of my family.
What now? Well, I'm going to get off this blasted computer and do what I need to do for me right now: go for a run....
...to be continued...
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