Day 25 & 26A - Friday & Saturday (10k)

FRIDAY

Although I was off of work on Friday (from teaching), I had to work at the bible bookstore.  And I got myself in a pickle because I wanted to work out AND get a half a dozen things done before I went in.  Well, of course you can't have your cake & eat it too.  So I only got a bit of a treadmill run in, but that was probably best right before the 10k.

Workout:
Treadmill: 41 min., 399 calories

SATURDAY

I was a bit nervous for this 10k.  It's been a LONG time since I did an official 10k, and the most mileage I've done lately has been right around 5-ish.  (10k = 6.2 miles.) 

It was a really good run for the first half, and I felt REALLY good.  But the run map was deceiving, and we spent most of it on the Lewiston side (in the direct sun - eesh) = HOT!  I could tell that I've only been running around 5 miles, because my motor was running out of energy around mile 5, but I kept pushing on, knowing I was really near the end.  I KNOW that last mile was my longest time, but my average pace was 11:34.  That's MUCH faster than my last 10k pace of 12:08!  I've MUCH improved!


Before the race - PERFECT weather! Cool, but sunny!


As I passed by "bigger" people, I thought about how I'm SO glad that I'm not there anymore - but I USED to be! 
So I'd encourage them on - usually by saying "keep going!" "You can do it!" "One foot in front of the other!" And hopefully someday they too will continue to PR their walking times, and go from walking to jogging, and jogging to running.

And I reflected about how much I have changed over time - when I started "waddling" back in 2009.  In 3 years I have gone up and down in weight, but I'm getting STRONGER and FASTER! I've always been STRONG, but NEVER "fast."  But getting FASTER means I'm improving, and that's the point.



At the finish line - took this pic a few seconds after I actually had gone through.
MY TIME: 1:11:42





How we were getting back to Clarkston for our cars: by boat!




5K PR as well! 34:50
10K PR: 1:11:42




My post-race photo: bib, shirt, shoes & times.



Day 22, 23 & 24A - Tues, Wed & Thurs.

Well, I'd love to say that everything has been "normal" around our place, but that's true, yet not.  (Full of oxy-morons, aren't I?)

In the past couple days we've had a ton more drama at Job #1/#3.  The building where the school & daycare are located has been sold out from underneath us.  Like with everything else, of course it's good and bad news. The good news is that my boss doesn't have to deal with the jerk who USED to own it.  (Long story.) Bad news is it was sold to another daycare in the area, and they want to make it their new school - age facility..... BEFORE summer.  Oi!  My boss is pretty good friends with the new building owner, and before they can move in and make renovations it's needs to be licenced for the new business, etc.  Our biggest concern is....can we finish school in our building?  I'm thinking NO.  So we may have to finish it up at my boss' house; which will be a bit of a squeeze.  (I have 6 students, she has 10.)  And of course there's the daycare side of it all.  The staff is panicking for their jobs, and parents are upset (where will they be taking their child?  How long do they have to find a new place?)  Lots of questions, and not a lot of answers right now.

Of course this is killing my sleep patterns.  I finally buckled down and had to take BENADRYL (of all things) to get to sleep last night (Wednesday night).  FINALLY I feel well rested!  On top of it all, we've been having a crazy summer-like heat wave, and of course the AC is not working in my classroom OR my car (making me quite cranky when you add the lack of sleep in there).  Luckily this morning I woke up to rain! YAY! I'm hoping we get more answers today.

Workout:
Treadmill: 40 min, 390 calories

I still have my 10k this weekend, and I'm glad the heat wave broke because it's supposed to start at 10am - I would have died.  It's been around 78 degrees + by 10 am!  Whew!

Days 20 & 21A - Holy Hot Sunday & Monday!

Good thing I got out early on Sunday - it was a scorcher!  It went from spring to SUMMER!  Some would say that's good, but I don't do well in the heat....AT ALL. :-(

Workout:
Bridge to bridge (plus some): 5.12 miles, 1 hr, 681 calories (getting a bit faster!!!)

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Monday was my usual day off.  I'm not sleeping well (heat on top of my normal lack of sleeping well), and my classroom is a SAUNA!  I may not be working out, but I'm certainly SWEATING! 

The best news of the day: I won two tickets (actually FOUR) to Mark Gungor!  He's known for "Laugh your way to a better Marriage."  I won 2 tickets to this weekend in Spokane, and then I realized that there's NO way I could go (I've got that 10k, working at the bible bookstore, and Dan has a lot of people off at his work right now).  So I quickly put in for the other contest location - in Tri-Cities and WON BOTH!  I gave this weekend's tickets to my friend Sally, and next weekend hubby & I were both able to get off.  We're going to see Mark Gungor! :)

http://www.laughyourway.com/events/

Day 19A - Saturday

Today I was just MOM.  I slept in a bit, and then headed out to my daughter's last soccer game. :-(  They got wallopped, but she had a good time, and is so sad to see the season end.  I'm sad to see it end because I only got to see 1 game (because of work).  Next year...1 job only, baby!

My baby girl playing what she loves! :)

I got to take her to their team's party, and then I had to go to work.  :-(  It was fun being "just mom" while it lasted....

Next weekend I have Saturday off - I have a 10k (6.2 miles) that I'm running in the morning, and so I got the whole day off.  I'm excited.  My paycheck will suck pond water, but having a day off will be even better.

Night 18A - Friday night

In the deep introspection of losing Jobs #1 & 3, I totally forgot to report about the Twilight 5k that I ran last night!

Ok, first of all, remember that I had such a crappy, crappy day yesterday.  Not just because of what happened ON the job, but because of the whole day in general.  I got home after I got off all 3 jobs, and my kids are being turds...urg!  So I was actually pretty excited that I was going to go on a run.

I don't normally run in the evenings - at all!  I'm tired from working, and although it SOUNDS like a good release, it also keeps me up late because of the adrenaline rush.  When I work out, I'm getting ready for my day, so in the evening if I do anything, it's only Yoga or walking to keep my HR where it should be.

So I asked my husband if he wanted me to stay - he just got home as I was trying to head out the door.  (He had a crappy day too, and it was going to be worse this weekend - 4 of his support people were off this weekend, and that means he'll be 5 people. Not good...)  I thought he might want me to stay and be the supportive wife.  Nope - he told me that I needed the run and get outta there! ;-)

So I did.

The weather was PERFECT for the race - cloudy, breezy and great!  (But the clouds matched my mood.)  I tripped over a railroad tie, and hoped it wouldn't affect me (which it did...just a bit).  And right as the race started, my iPod craps out on me.  Great - hurting ankle, no tunes...CRAP!!!  And I just wasn't "into" it, ya know?  But I was resigned to finish, and just DO IT!

So I did.

I was pleased that everyone I had passed along the way stayed behind me.  I'm not a FAST jogger, but I have endurance - even on the crappy runs!  There was a gal that I was toggling with off and on, but by mile 2.5, I had well surpassed her.

Also within mile 2, I met up with a gal who wanted to talk.  Not my favorite thing, but friendly thing to do.  She commented on how fast I walked (when I take a short jogging break), and so we talked for 0.10 of a mile.  She was smaller than me (read: skinnier) and said she had only run on the treadmill, and talked about her goal of doing all 3.1 miles in 32 min.  I asked her "do you realize that's about a 10 -10 1/2  min mile average?  (I didn't want to burst her bubble because it was clear we wouldn't be making it.)  And she said "oh, I didn't realize!"  And I told her it's a good goal to work towards! ;-)

Finally, by mile 2.5 I was feeling pretty good.  I didn't care about my PR because of my crappy day, but I finished strong.  Finish time: 35:19

Had to laugh...I PR'd by 1 SECOND!  My hubby & I had a good laugh over that. 

However, as noted, I didn't sleep very well last night - tossing and turning.  I don't know if it's from the race, or the worries.  I need to start doing yoga at night....or SOMETHING!

My typical post-race picture:
Bib number (with time written on it),
the tshirt and shoes I ran in.

Close up - bib, date, time.  Beat my PR by ONE SECOND!
How do you like them apples? LOL

Day 18A - Friday

Oh crap.  Don't you hate it when you don't get up when you PLAN on getting up?

Yep, that was the start to my morning. Crap.

I wasn't late for my getting-ready-for-work morning, but I totally missed my workout.  And yes, I was actually LOOKING FORWARD to working out today because I have a Twilight 5k tonight, and knew that this morning would be pretty low-key because of it.  CRAP.

So right now I'm getting all my stuff ready for the day, getting my race stuff out, etc.  I'm excited and nervous for this 5k.  I've not ever run a race at night, and I'm NOT a person who works out at night.  After a LONG day, I just have NO energy.  And yes, I have all 3 jobs today!  Luckily for me, it's early release at school, Friday is typically low numbers at the day care, and although I have a lot of errands to run at lunch time, I actually HAVE a "lunch time" today.  (I'm off at 11:30 from school, and don't have to be work at the bible bookstore until 2. YAY!)  So maybe a walk in the park will be warranted!

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Ok, so my crappy morning turned into a crappy day.  Dealt with daycare crap ALL DAY LONG.  An employee needing to leave to catch her dog that got out, another needing to leave to transport kids....all before the "school" part of my day even started!

And then the mother of it all...my boss I think finally resolved the fact that she just can NOT keep going like this.  She's made too many bad business decisions in the past, and she's not going to be able to recoop from it (financially).  So I think she's UNofficially decided to close the doors the last week of school.  When she told me, I was taking it pretty well, but as my mind dwelt upon it, I started freaking out - almost panic-attack like!  I know that I had already made the decision NOT to do Job #3 this summer (working as the daycare manager), and Job #1 would be done (teaching).  However, I always felt that since I didn't put in my notice about that yet, that I could fall back on that option.  NOW I CAN'T!  AND I'M FREAKING OUT!

I always, always know that God will provide for me.  It's head knowledge for me, but not HEART knowledge.  It's like people learning about Faith - faith isn't what you see - it's about believing in what you DON'T see.  I know that this is a test for me.  I've had to rely on God's provisions this past year when I took a job that pays only 1/3 of my public school teacher salary.  I've had to trust that He would provide for my family and help us through; He most certainly has!  Times have been tough, but we've certainly been making it (with much angst, worry and strife on my part).  I know He's calling me to TRUST HIM - even more than I have had to in the past because now he's taking away my "Plan B."  I've always had a Plan B (or C) that is my no-fail plan.  Now I don't.  As of June 5th, I'm down to ONE part-time job.

And oh yes, I feel the relief at the same time I feel the worry.  I already know that my home is suffering because I don't have the time to dedicate to it, my family and all that NEEDS (and deserves) my attention.  Dinners are leftovers (more times than not), and crappy hamburger helper vs. a real dinner I've made from scratch.  My daughter is STOKED because I purposely took off tomorrow morning to see her last soccer game.  In the past I've always, ALWAYS gone to every game, and this season tomorrow will be my first and last one I go to.   :-(   My children deserve to have their mom rooting for them.  My husband deserves to have his wife at home waiting for him.  And I haven't been.  So that IS the relief I feel - I WILL be here, and it will help.

But yes, that worry, stress and angst is back - bigger than ever.

But I really looked introspectively into the situation - why is this SO devistating to me? I figured it out (I think)...

I base my worth off of what I can do...and when I can't provide, I feel like a ZERO.

I'm NOT a ZERO - I know I shouldn't feel that way, I know my husband would be so upset that I think of myself that way, but I do.  And it's not healthy.  Now I know how men feel when they can't provide financially for their families; how low they feel - and it's not pretty.  I feel like since I can't contribute, what good am I?  Oh man, that's not good!

So in the next few days I'm going to be doing a lot of PRAYING and talkin' with God. Not only for His PEACE, but His DIRECTION and for His WISDOM.  Not only about WHAT I should do, but HOW I should do it, and WHY I base my worth off of WORKS.

So is this a sign that I need to work on my BeachBody coaching?  I do think so. 

I need to have a job where I can be wife and mom over EVERYTHING - even teaching.  So Deb - watch out, here I come! 

Day 17A - Thursday

Oh my stinkin' gosh!  Just when I think life has smoothed out... NOPE!  Today I ran my butt off at Job #1/#2.  And just a little venting here: when your boss has asked you to cover her class a MULTITUDE of times during the week, you would think that she would cover MY class for a 1/2 hour when I'm trying to cover for 2 daycare staff who are late from a dr.'s appt, and one who had to transport kids from elementary school!  But NOOOOOO....!  I had to cover those 2 spots, my class AND hers!  (sorry for the rant...I'm done, nothing that can be done about it now.)  My husband said "I just can't wait for you to get out of there."  Hear, hear!  Can't wait for June 5th - last day of school!

And yes, I had Job #3 immediately after school, but in comparison, 2.5 hrs. at a low-key bible bookstore is NOTHING in comparison!  Granted, I wanted to BE at home (since hubby gets off at 4:00 on Thursdays), but compare that to the chaos at Job 1/2....as Visa would say...."priceless."

Workout:
Short treadmill time: 36 min, 276 calories

Day 16A - Wednesday

Just another working day...until I got home!  Spent 3 hours on the garage roof helping hubby put on the shingles for 1 side.  He's spent the last 2 days (yesterday & today) on and off with the patchy weather trying to get the old stuff off, and the new stuff on.  Well, not only was his horrible blister (and legs, and back!) barking at him, but then he had the Princess' student-led conference to attend to.  So it was up to me and the boys (my son and his son) to get as much done as we could.  I know my husband was frustrated because the boys were learning, and not doing it to the standard that he wanted...which meant slower and there were a few "re-dos."  But I remember as a kid being scared of making a mistake because my dad would just yell at me and didn't understand why I couldn't do it just like him.  (Really??)  So I tried to not continue that down our generational tree.  They did well.  Not professional, but hey - we got Matt (his son) on the ROOF!  And he's scared of HEIGHTS! Yay!

I may not have done a "workout" yesterday, but at the end of the day, I felt good about what was accomplished.

Day 15A - Tuesday

Well, I only woke up once last night (surprise after my 3 hr. nap yesterday afternoon)!  I was a bit panicky about being able to go back to sleep, but I did, and since I walked yesterday, I allowed this morning to be my off/sleep in morning.

Eating, it was a CRAPPY day.  I craved JUNK and gave in. :-(  By dinnertime, I was NOT feeling peachy, and by bedtime, I was READY to go to bed and start over tomorrow!  I'm totally ready to jump back on that cleanse!!!  Here's to a better tomorrow!

Day 14A - Monday

I'm exhausted - I've been up since 2am.  I am one of those people who have serious sleep issues.  I don't have any problems GETTING to sleep, but staying asleep is a different story.  It never fails - between 2-3am I wake up...usually with stuff on my mind...and can't get back to sleep.  After our short date night last night, my hubby tried to talk me into a movie, and I just couldn't - I was tired already.  And usually I take an over-the-counter sleep med, and that REALLY helps.  But as I was laying in bed (hubby already snoring), I thought..."oops - I forgot my sleep med."  But thinking because I've been really active, I've had a lot of fresh air lately, and I was already tired, I would probably sleep through the night - no prob, right??

WRONG.

2am came, my eyes opened.  I tried to read, I took Melatonin (which never works, but I thought I'd try anyway), and so when about 4:50 showed up on the clock, I figured I might as well make the most of it and at least do something resembling a workout....  But I'm wiped, no energy, but at least I walked on the treadmill.  Just a bit of speed walking, nothing too over-the-top.  At least I pushed "go."

Workout (if you could call it that):
57 minutes, 445 calories

...later...

Well, the day got worse before it got better. 

I just couldn't function at work - I couldn't focus, and when I don't get enough sleep I have that "I really gotta puke, but can't" feeling in my gut.  So I went home at lunch.

Hubby apparently didn't understand that I was coming home early because I didn't feel good!  He took me out to lunch (aw) and I about fell asleep at the table.  Then he took me home (finally!) and tucked me into bed.  He layed with me for a bit until the kids started coming home.  I think spending that little extra time with him was almost as beneficial as the sleep.

I slept for 3 hours!  When I woke up I was afraid that I wouldn't be able to sleep that night, but I felt SO much better! So we ended up staying up a bit late so that I could finally sleep.  But I didn't take any chances...I made sure to take that OTC sleeping aid! :)

Day 13A - Sunday - CLEANSE DAY 3

I just have to say that I'm FULL of it (!) today!  (It meaning energy...OF COURSE!)  I woke up feeling GREAT and got a 5+mile run in BEFORE CHURCH!  I'm feeling GREAT!   This cleanse is killing my sugar/white flour cravings, and I LOVE that!  I'm bummed that I had to put a bit of ground beef on my salad last night (instead of white meat), but it was a must for 7:30pm last night, and my cupboards were BARE.  But today is grocery shopping day, and I'm going to pick up some more chicken, fish, etc.  Now that the spring weather is staying pretty consistant (decent), I'm really craving LIGHT meals, and this Shakeology cleanse is going GREAT with that.  I just can't rave enough about it!  I think I need to do this at least once a month???  Not sure... 

Pre-Workout: E2, apple cider vinegar, Vit-C packet, metamucil and Gatorade on the run. (Anything over 3 miles I put in electrolytes.)

Breakfast: Tropical Shakeology with strawberries, 1/2 scoop of Van. Whey protein, green tea, ice & water

AM Snack:  none - was at church

Lunch: Chocolate Shakeology with 1/2 scoop of Whey Protein, water, coffee & ice.  (It was like a healthy frappacino!) lol

PM Snack:  almonds (needed a boost) and a few grapes

Dinner: well, consider the cleanse done...Hubby took me out on a short date night.  We had Chinese.  Although honestly, about 1/2 way through it, I started feeling sick!  I don't know if it was because I wasn't used to eating like THAT for the last 2 days, or what?!?!?

Workout:
5.18 miles, 735 calories (booh-yah!), 68 minutes (with cool down).
P.S. coulda gone for so much more, but I had to get back home and get ready for church.  I am going to ROCK the Twilight 5k on the 20th, and so ready for the 10k on the 28th! WAHOO!

Day 12A - Saturday - CLEANSE DAY 2

Yesterday was really hard in the afternoon on my cleanse.  Only because Friday is cooking day for my class, and I was teaching them how to make Monkey Bread.  Which (if you're unfamiliar) is frankly just white flour, sugar, butter, cinnamon and brown sugar.  It's ewey-gooeyness and great for a breakfast treat.  Of course I chose this torture BEFORE I chose to do the cleanse, and although torturous, it was a great feeling knowing that I had all-the-more reason to decline.  It's not good for you in the first place, let alone on a cleanse.

Pre-workout:  E2 (energy/vitamin drink), Vit C, Apple cider vinegar & Metamucil

Breakfast: Tropical Shakeology with 1/2 scoop of Whey Protein Powder, Strawberries, and green tea, with water & ice

AM Snack:  none :-(  Too busy

Lunch: Greenberry Shakeology with green tea, water, and 1/2 scoop of Protein powder

Snack: (starving!) Apple and some yams - should have had my 3rd shakeology, but I was at work and had NO time!

Dinner:  Dinner was at 7:30pm (not good), and I was already starving!  When I went to the fridge to get out the cooked chicken (from last night's leftovers), I found that my KIDS ATE THEM! URG!  So I had to put on leftover ground beef.  I know that we're supposed to refrain from red meat, but with hubby heading to bed at 8pm, I either had to have a blah salad (which I couldn't - I was HUNGRY!) or go with the substitute meat.  NUTS!

The cleanse itself isn't hard!  The only "hard" part today was I was at work for most of it, and in retail when it's busy, it's BUSY and I couldn't get back to the break room to actually MAKE the shake!  I had cut up yams from the night before, so it was easy to slip a bite here and there - same with the apple.  Oh well, they are fruit/veggie, so it's good.

I don't usually weigh myself during my period - it's just a bad idea.  But I snuck one in....I still weigh 188.4!!  (ok, the weight is still high, and it hasn't moved, but during my period, I gain/lose about 5+ lbs all in about 5-7 days.  Dang water weight!)  I'm really looking forward to the next weigh in, believe it or not!

I think I'm going to try to take this through Day 4.  I have a feeling that hubby is going to try to take me out on a date night tonight after work, and since we haven't had one in WEEKS (!) - since Tim Hawkins in Tri-Cities - I can't say no. We're in BAD NEED of one.  But maybe I can convince him to wait until MONDAY night...lol...

Workout:
Treadmill:  1 hour, 551 calories

I'm off my calorie burn goal for the week by about 600 calories.  Ouch.  That's because my Saturday workout wasn't as long, and I didn't workout Mon - Wed.  That pre-period days really caught up with me.  I'm hoping that the lack of calories during this cleanse will help offset that.

Day 11A - Friday - CLEANSE DAY 1

Yep, yep...another restless night.  I was cramping pretty bad (odd for day 2 of my period), and then my back was killing me from the Turbo Jam workout last night.  (That's a good problem to have, right?)  So I popped ibuprofen a few times last night and managed to get a few winks. 

So it was pretty hard to wake up when the alarm went off...but I DID!  When I jogged, it was a SLOW jog, and I had a lot more walking spurts in there, but I got up, and I "hit play" (so to speak).

Workout:
Treadmill: 47 min, 415 calories.

I HAVE JUST MADE A GREAT DECISION:  I AM DOING THE 3 DAY SHAKEOLOGY CLEANSE!

I don't know what just hit me today, because I've been looking at the 3 day cleanse poster that Deb posted on Facebook for about 3 days now....  And I know the group has been talking about the difference between the new Reset vs. the Cleanse.  I just can't do the Reset right now.  As much as I would really like to "reset" my insides, I just can't NOT exercise for 21 days. (Uh-oh...a HUGE teacher mistake...just used a double-negative...)  Nope, not an option.  And I understand the basis for it.  But on a Cleanse, I can, so I will! :0)

Pre-workout: E2 energy drink, Metamucil & Vit-C mix (not on cleanse - just part of my regemin)
Breakfast: Tropical Shakeology with strawberries & banana
AM Snack: apple
Lunch: Greenberry Shakeology mixed with Green tea, 1/2 scoop of protein powder and WATER!
(I had to add the protein powder - I needed the extra OOMPH!)  Or so I thought...because I never got in my third Shakeology...I was at job #2 and not only didn't have time for it, but never felt hungry.  I LOVE THIS!
Dinner:  Chicken salad with romaine and spinach leaves.  I did add some Yams - with NOTHING on them but nutmeg & cinnamon.  I figured that it was still a veggie, but no added sugar.

I'M TOTALLY ROCKING THIS CLEANSE!  LOVE, LOVE, LOVE IT! CAN'T WAIT FOR DAY #2!

Day 10A - Happy Birthday, Princess!

First of all, Happy Birthday to my husband's daughter...whom I've nicknamed "THE PRINCESS!"  (She would HATE that I put that in pink.  Heck, she would hate to know that I even REFER to her as a Princess!)

And by the way....I'm patting myself on the back....

One of the reasons why she's the Princess in our house is because our household rules do NOT apply to her Royal Teenageness.  (Which kills me.)  One of the rules she breaks A LOT (and did so again yesterday) was that I want FULL loads of laundry done in our washer, and now we have a clothesline.  So when the weather is good - they get hung.  But not for HER!  She does not like to "mix" her clothes with others' clothing, so my husband turns a blind eye and allows her to do a medium (or whatever size) load.  I have an easy solution:  bring clothes from her mom's house to clean or take her stinkin' clothes to her MOM's!  (Yes, I don't care if she washes the clothes from her mom's house here at our home.  Just use the FULL load!!!!)  And because she doesn't like to use the clothesline, she does her laundry on crappy (weather) days, so she can have them dried in the dryer.  (She's not a dumb child.) 

So instead of bringing it up AGAIN and creating an issue AGAIN (with my husband), I let it go....

Why?  Because I need to pick and choose my battles with her, and preserve the peace I have with my husband.  We will never see 100% eye to eye on her.

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On the "good news," I did wake up (although a bit later than I'd like) and got in a short workout!  Yay!

Workout:
Turbo Jam Cardio: 32 min, 333 calories

Not a lot of "burn," but I'm still pretty tired.  But I hit PLAY! :-)

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...later...

Well, the kids have gone back to their mom's after the Princess' bday, and I have to say, it went VERY well.  I don't know if the Princess is behaving because of her bday...(?) or is she FINALLY maturing a bit?!?!  I truly hope and pray it's on the mature side.  It's a very nice and welcome change...

Day 9A - Wednesday

Once again woke up with a sensitive stomach, and  I've been exhausted.  There's a lot of stress going on at job #1/#3.  So much that #3 (daycare managing) is totally interfering with teaching (job #1).  I had to talk with my boss yesterday about it, and told her that in no uncertain terms this can NOT continue!  She agreed - no shock, 2 of her kids are in my class! - but I'm serious!  I can't keep doing 2 jobs within the timespan it usually takes me to do one job WELL. 

So I think the stress is eating away at me, and I'm trying to soak up every sleeping minute I can.

Stress at home is fine!  The Princess is behaving well (it IS her bday on Thursday...does that have something to do with it??) and the weather has been great so we've been spending a lot of time outside planting, gardening, etc.  Hubby even put up a clothesline for this cheap-wad woman(!) and I got to put out my first load yesterday!  So life at home has been pretty good, with the exception of workouts.  At least I'm outside and MOVING, though....

...later...

Well, today was a pretty good day at work!  Although my boss is still "playing" with the employee's schedules (driving us all NUTS!), the staff is mellowing out a bit and things are just starting to "flow..."  FINALLY!  However, I'm sure it's short lived...

The sun was shining today (which was odd - we were expecting thundershowers), so I got a bit of Vitamin D and I think that helped to mellow me out too...and my period started.  (Sorry if that's TMI.)  The first day I'm usually in a daze...

So it's a blah day around here for this ol' girl.  Tomorrow is the Princess' 14th bday, and I wonder what that is going to bring.  Luckily (?) for me, I have to work at job #2 tomorrow until 6, and so I'm urging hubby to go ahead with the party without me.  It's not like she cares if I'm there anyway - she gets the presents whether I'm there or not! :)  And I've already prepped her bday cake (her choice: strawberry cake with cream cheese frosting) and my asparagus.  She's mostly excited that her daddy is grilling her steak.  (Again, her bday dinner choice.)  But since it's not one of our normal visitation days, they are only at the house for a limited time.  That's ok with me - I'll miss most of the drama, I think. (I hope!) :)  Actually, she's been pretty good this week.  Only minor snarky things here and there.  I think it's really helped that my daughter (a huge source of irritation for the Princess) has been out of the house after school playing with friends.  A win-win for all!

Day 8A - Tuesday

Ok...set my alarm for good intentions for working out today...middle of the night, change of plans.  I think I food poisioned myself!  (Just great...you know how people ask what restaurant that happened in...how do you say, "Oh no, it was all at home!  I food poinsioned myself!"  Urg - just great...)

We had leftovers for dinner last night, and it was either food poisioning or something did NOT agree with me the 2nd time around - bloated, gas, you name it!  I went to bed before hubby (he was watching a Lonesome Dove marathon), and that NEVER happens!  And I'm so sorry Biggest Loser, you may have people puking on the treadmill and LOVIN' it!  But that's NOT how this girl rolls!  (Isn't that just a whole new form of anorexia??? PUKING WHILE WORKING OUT?!?! Wow...)  So with a slightly sensitive stomach today, I slept while I could.

However, to just stir up the stomach-pot, I AM doing something semi-new today...I'm adding flaxseed to my oatmeal today!  While I was at Costco getting my eye exam, hubby texted over a list (luckily, without a cart, it was a SMALL list...well, small for Costco...) and I saw the flaxseed. I used to put flax in my smoothies and oatmeal before, and I don't know why I stopped???  So I'm going to be adding that today to get some Omega 3's and a bit more protein in that oatmeal.

I was just updating some stuff on my sparkpeople.com page.  And I found a photo that I haven't seen in a LONG time...

2008 at 213 lbs.

Oh my gosh, this is WHY I HATE having my pictures taken, but honestly why I need to.  Looking back on this I see such an unhappy person that was really struggling with herself.  This was 3-4 years ago - not only just yesterday, but also a LIFETIME ago...  Or at least it FEELS that way.  I remember those capris - they BARELY fit in this picture, but I've since then thrown them away because they slide right off.  They were size 18/20, and this was my low point - when I knew I couldn't just live this way anymore.  Nothing fit, I felt GROSS, and I HAD to take a picture because I didn't SEE myself like this.  Urg...I have to scroll my screen up because I just can't look at it anymore...

Day 7A

Monday...oh, LORD it's a Monday! 

Monday is normally my "off" day for workouts, and it seems to fit - at least for me.  Whereas most people in the states are starting a new diet today, I'm giving myself rest after working my butt off all weekend - both literally and figuratively!  (Weekends are my best workout days!) :-)

As for the food choices for today, I've been doing really well.  I'm just struggling (still) with finding the time to track it all!  But breakfast has been 1/2 cup oats with a 1/2 scoop of Whey Protein and a 1/2 cup of fruit (it's been strawberries & blueberries lately).  YUM!  Today for lunch...lunch?!?!  I need to start taking my Shakeology for lunch!  I didn't get a lunch (due to job #3 sneaking in there...lucky me!), and we had leftovers for dinner tonight. So my eating is still on track.

We didn't get the kids much candy (only a hollow chocolate bunny) for Easter, so there's no Easter treat temptations in the house - yay!  Which is good, because I think the PMS cravings are starting to call my name again.  Gee, it's so great being a woman sometimes!  *sarcasm*  But I don't know about OTHER women, but right after I start my period, my cravings for CRAP food subside, and I really start craving REAL food - fruits, veggies and everything else that I wish I would crave the other 29-30 days of the month.  For the most part, I don't ever have a problem EATING those foods, but for those 2-3 days I really CRAVE them.  (sorry guys, for the female insight...) But it's like since my body is purging of all that old "stuff" for those days, I need to refuel/refill my body with PURE fuel/food & ingredients.  Even moreso than I normally do - NO artificial stuff whatsoever! Look past the cravings and look forward to those upcoming days...

Here's a shot of my family and I yesterday at Easter.  What you can't see (very well, anyway) is that I'm rocking a SIZE 12 DRESS! (I was a 16 - and a TIGHT 16 - at the beginning of the year! WAHOO! ;-)  And yes, hubby's liking the difference too...

Day 4A, 5A & 6A

Ok...here I am, back in the saddle again.  Honest. Here we go...

Workouts:

FRIDAY:
Treadmill - 1 hr, 36 min, 927 calories

SATURDAY:
Treadmill - 1 hr., 14 min., 629calories (before work!)

EASTER SUNDAY:
Treadmill - 49 min., 410 calories (before church!)

Honestly, I haven't been tracking my food - I am just not finding the time to get on the computer and do it!  But I know I'm making good choices - I weighed in today at 188 lbs still, but 39% body fat (down 2 percent)!  AND - for Easter Sunday I fit into a size 12 dress!  (I was pushing a size 16 dress at the beginning of the year.)  I still think it's mis-sized, but I had the size 14 at first, and had to take it back! 

AND - NO Easter candy!  The kids got 1 chocolate bunny each, and it left me with no temptations!  Yay!  Overall, a GREAT end to my spring break!

The past 3 days...

Tuesday and Wednesday (the past two days ) have been my only "spring break."

For the most part, I just had a good time with my hubby and family.  We had really nice weather on Tuesday, and so-so weather on Wednesday, so we took advantage of it!  That's why I was hardly inside - much less on the computer.

Tuesday was mainly outside.  We gardened - put in our 5 blueberry plants, planted seeds, etc.  We had fun in the partially-cloudy weather, and then ended our day at the park where hubby and I took a 2.63 leisurely stroll.  (Yes, I did end up mapping it on Sparkpeople - I wanted to know how far we went!)  But it was LEISURELY!  Hubby has taken "walks" with his ex-wife in the past, and she's left him in the dust so she can get a workout.  I'm sorry, I know that some people like to work out with their spouses, and that's GREAT!  But my husband doesn't want to workout with me, so I wanted him to understand when we take a WALK together, the purpose is to spend time together, walking, talking, etc.  So we did.  It was GREAT!

Yesterday, however, the rains returned and (oh crap), we found a hole in the roof of the garage.  Oh crap...did I say that already?  I really would like to say something stronger...

I had just made a resolve to NOT have 3 jobs this summer. I ENJOY having a day off - much less WITH my husband and family.  I can't keep killing myself, especially for money, and it's my lack of faith that God will provide.  So I'm feeling TESTED.  I need to keep the faith that we'll have the $500-$600 to fix the roof of the garage, and that I don't need to continue with 3 jobs to do it.

So at the end of the day, the SK back to their mom's house, my two kids at friends' houses, it's just my hubby and me.  He asks..."wanna go out for dinner?"  I coulda throttled him!  I told him: "AFTER we pay for the roof."  I think our lunches and dinners out - and date nights as well - are on hold until AFTER the roof is fixed.  *sigh*

However, I didn't track my food, but I know I did ok.  No snacking, 3 small meals each day...and a walk thrown in there for good measure.  Back on the saddle tomorrow!

Day 3A

As per normal Monday (even though it's spring break), it's my off workout day.  That's good - leg muscles are a bit sore from JM's workout yesterday.

Today has been a bit tense around the house.....

The SK (step kids) are at the house Mon-Wed per normal, even though it's Spring Break.  But I was seriously bummed because I had to go and be at work (Job #3) to fix lunch (cover for a staff person that was off today).  Well, I got off at 2, and headed home.  But the family had already had a great day, and then they were having lunch when I arrived.

And not only that, but because they had all worked so hard this morning on the garden (MY garden?!?!) hubby wants to reward them with root beer floats and a movie.  That not only do not get to do because of my staff meeting tonight, but don't deserve to do.  *jealousy monster*

I admit.  I was a grump.  I hate that I'm in a bad mood and have that mind set.  I hate that I am JEALOUS that they got to stay home and do yard work, and I had to go work-work.  So I bit off my husband's head about something DUMB (STUPID, STUPID ME!) and knew that I would just be a grump if I stuck around, so I headed back to work.  I probably wouldn't have, but not only was my attitude crappy, but I had work to do at the computer (didn't matter at home vs. at work computer) and I have a staff meeting later tonight anyway so I knew I would have to come back.

I just know that as of right now it's 5pm, staff meeting is at 6:30.  I'll try to make it quick (yeah, right), and then go home and eat humble pie. :-/

Today's food includes:
bfast: 1/2 cup of oatmeal, 1/2 scoop of whey protein
lunch: Shakeology - 1/2 chocolate, 1/2 tropical with Almond milk  (sorry, Deb, not a fave combo for me)

So instead of looking backwards (other than knowing I need to apologize), I will look forward.  What will tomorrow look like? What will be different?  Hopefully I will not get any phone calls from job #3, and I'll at least have 2 days of my spring break to enjoy with the family, even with the SK there as well.  I still have to work a LOT this week (job #2), but we have a coupon going, so I'm hoping that the time will just FLY on by!

Day 2A (Day 2 Again)

Workouts:
Jillian Michael's 30 Day Shred: 36 minutes, 328 calories
Treadmill walk: 2.1 miles in 35 min.  40 min total (with cooldown and stretching), 366 calories

I think it's really interesting that the treadmill "walk" and JM 30DS workouts were almost the same, calorie vs. calorie.  However, I like the 30 DS because it's 3 min. of strength training, 2 min cardio and 1 min of abs all in 3 circuits.  So although it's not as INTENSE with cardio, I know (espeically as a runner) I need to amp up my core and ST workouts.  This is one way to do it.  And my upper body is SO WEAK! Oi!  Oh my gosh!  I think I need to sneak in some push ups here and there during the day! Although I WILL say that I can NOW do 3 "regular" push ups (ie not on my knees) whereas I couldn't do ANY before!  Yay me!


Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: ??

Still having a hard time FINDING the time to track.... Will try to do better tomorrow...

Starting Again...Numbers

Just because I'm a numbers-kind-of-girl, I want to show why I'm not starting "over," but since I'm starting "AGAIN," it's still good to take a look at ALL the numbers, not just the number on the scale (which is an all-time bummer number usually).

90 Days ago:                               Day 1 of "Starting Again":

Weight: 194.4                             Weight:  187.6
% body fat: 42%                         % of body fat: 41.4
BMI: 33.4                                    BMI: 32.2 (next goal: 29. Gets me out of the "obese" classification)

Measurements:                              Measurements:
Neck: 13.5                                  Neck: 13.5
Chest: 41.5                                 Chest: 40.75
Waist: 38                                    Waist: 37
Hips: 46                                      Hips: 45.5
Thigh (L): 27                              Thigh (L): 26
Thigh (R): 27.5                           Thigh (R): 26.75
Calf (L): 16.5                              Calf (L): 16.25
Calf (R): 17                                Calf (R): 17
Arm (L): 14.5                             Arm (L): 14.5
Arm (R): 14.5                            Arm (R): 14

In the past 90-ish days, I've lost (more than) 6.8 lbs. (The reason why I've lost "more" is because at one point in time, I was up to 198 lbs.!)  And I've lost 4.75 inches.

My endurance (primarily jogging/running) is much better!  I've been able to make "the right choice" 80 % of the time, and my portion sizes are MUCH SMALLER.  I'm thinking about what I'm eating. 

I've also had soda only ONCE this calendar year (2012), and I stay away from artificial flavors, sweetners, etc.  I drink a TON of water, and pee a TON.  (What goes in, must come out after all!)

90 days ago (January 2012):                                                                                       Today - April 2012:

90 days ago (January 2012):                                                              Today - April 2012:

I don't see much in the way of changes here, but then again, I'm my worst critic.  Next 90 days, though...WATCH OUT!  I'm on fire! :)

Starting AGAIN - Day 1

Why "Starting AGAIN" vs. "Starting OVER?"  Because I'm NOT starting OVER.  I'm not where I was 86+ days ago.  I'm not where I wanted to be at day 86, but I'm not where I was at Day 1 either. 

...so I'm starting AGAIN....

And so far, it's a good start.  Why not start tomorrow?  Why not start on Monday? 

My question is.... Why NOT today?

Every time I start "tomorrow" or "Monday," that gives me time to binge, not work out, etc.  I oftentimes wonder what new contestants do once they find out they've been selected for the show: do they start on their journey that minute?  Or do they pig out and wait for that first weigh in to be a doozy?  Well, not only is this not the Biggest Loser (which I DO love), but this is real life and I'm constantly on this journey.  So I choose to "start again" daily, choice by choice, minute by minute.

However, today marks "Day 1" for a reason.  I am putting my priorities back into place.  I started today with my devotionals - as I should.  I worked out already this morning - as I should.  And later, I'm going to spend time with my children after work.  Granted, it's going to be while grocery shopping, but WHY NOT?  (And yes, hubby fits in there too, but he's working late tonight.)

Workout:
Treadmill - 48 minutes, 428 calories

I expected this workout to be "eh."  After all, it's been over a week since I've done anything resembling a "workout."  But for the first part, it was ok!  Not stellar, but not bad either.  Actually felt really good to get back into things again. 

I would have liked to gone OUT for a run, but I needed to fit in what I could - I still have a house to take care of and 6 hours at work today.  So my goal with "starting AGAIN" is to aim for at least 10 minutes a day.  More, if I can.  Why 10 minutes?  Because it sounds so SMALL (ie "reasonable") and it works with my Tony Horton 10-Minute Trainers.

Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Calories consumed: 1801

Ouch not a very good start to day one (calorie-wise).  And no excuses; I was craving Taco Bell.  I should have just eaten what I had packed. 

On a brighter note, I got to try the new Tropical Shakeology.  Oh my gosh!  My favorite yet!  I love it!

On another bright note, at work today I met another SparkPeople person, Sheree.  It's nice to meet a local that has similar health goals.  She's an RN in the area, and we have kids the same age (and a Christian)!  So maybe we can get together, encourage each other on and work towards our goals together.  I bet she'd LOVE shakeology... hmmm....