Day 40 - TGIF

...Morning...

I woke up to my alarm, and went right back to bed.  Yep, I made a conscious decision to go back to bed.  I know to meet my weekly goal, I really need to burn over 800 calories.  Between today and tomorrow, that's a good 400 calories a day.  I usually hit 350 on a GOOD week day, and 400 is doable for a weekend.  WHY did I sleep in?  Frankly, it's an "eh" day.  The weather is crappy, I didn't sleep well and my gut's up & down (probably from Arby's lunch yesterday...why do I go out? Oh yeah - to eat with hubby).  So I have to at least walk at recesses today - rain or shine.  Oh joy.

Frankly, I just don't wanna. 

I'm in a funk.  Exercise-wise, that's not like me.  I try to make exercise fun because I know if it's "fun," I look forward to doing it, and I WILL do it.  I've got a million DVDs from Jillian Michaels, to Bob Harper, Tony, Turbo Jam, etc., etc.  I have a treadmill and free hand weights and a step.  It's not about the lack of variety.  It's me.  Oi.

...Afternoon...

Ok.  Still in a funk.  Check out what I've eaten today, this should just make your head shake, and frankly, your body shudder:

No breakfast (not usually like me), unless you count hot tea.

AM Snack - most of my Chocolate Shakeology (with almond milk)

Lunch - I WANT SWEETS! I WANT SALT! 
Had 2 Charelston Chews and BBQ Stackers (like Pringles) chips. ...and a soda...  :-(  Broke my no-soda streak.  However, I didn't even finish 1/2 of the Coke Zero.  It didn't taste like I imagined, which is good, right?  Actually, it's SO sad....

No PM snack.  (probably for the best...)
Sadly (and ironically) I still have enough calories left for a small dinner.  Just doesn't seem right (or possible).  But my hubby isn't feeling too great tonight, so I'm thinking that maybe a little soup is on the menu for tonight, which should be just fine.

As for exercise, I DID walk at last recess - I was running errands at lunch recess, but after I go home from work tonight, I plan to get my booty moving.  I gotta do SOMETHING...I'm hoping that will not only help me feel better, but get my head straightened out.

...evening...

Well, I got home and had to deal with a situation with my son, so there went my workout!  By the time I finished with him, hubby was due to be home.  And hubby wasn't doing so well - he's been fighting a stress headache all day. :-(  He's one of those introverts to internalizes everything.   So my evening was spent trying to help him relax.  I took him to Panda Express (which he said he had wanted to try, but never had eaten there), had him take a warm shower, and gave him a nice back massage with oil.  He was snoring before I turned out the lights.  Poor guy!

Anyway, at Panda Express I knew I didn't have a lot of calories left, and I am proud of myself because I didn't just think "Oh well, I didn't make (calorie) goal today, so who cares?!?" and eat all tempura crap!  Nope!  I had mixed veggies and brocolli beef and I DID have some honey walnut shrimp - but NOT a lot!  YAY me!  Yes, I did go over my calorie count, but I feel that I ended the day with a victory as opposed to how my mid-day was earlier. 

Workout:
Recess: 19 min, only 119 calories.  Urg.

Nutrition:
Goal: 1,200 - 1,550
Consumed: 1,779 urg.

All I can say is that I'm human.  This is a JOURNEY.  I'm going to have ups and downs.  I've been fighting my "food battle" all my life, frankly, allowing my feelings to torment me, and choose what goes in my mouth.  I'm working hard to control it, and through the grace of God one day it will be easier.